I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
