id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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