The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Houston, we have a squirter
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
