If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
