I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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