all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
