I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
