dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize