why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
