She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
