yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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