why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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