Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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