i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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