i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
