saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
