I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You need Xanax blowdarts
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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