Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
