Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
