He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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