oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
