after a month anything with tits is on the radar
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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