There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
