OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
