wakey wakey hands off snakey
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
