One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize