i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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