So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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