:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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