come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
