Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
