I have demons in me.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
