oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
