She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
