it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
