take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
