We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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