Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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