Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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