you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
