i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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