And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
