I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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