Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
