Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
