I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
