i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
