All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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