You smell like stripper and shame
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
