there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
