we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
