Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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