There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
