If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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