hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize