420 ftw
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
