Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want to make a zoo with you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
