he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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