nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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