So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
