even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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