I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
