I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
