Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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