So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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