I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
