butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love black thongs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
