I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
