We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
