So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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