I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
