so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
