Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
