I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
How's work?
Spinning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
