Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
