It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
