Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's never too late to be topless.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
