Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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