also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize